Dear Mr. Kevin Epling,
I feel I should apologize for the Michigan state legislators who are trying to block passage of the bill bearing your son's name. I realize it must be a mixture of pride and sorrow that sweeps through you whenever you discuss this issue. While I know very little about Matt or the kind of harassment he faced, I can only imagine that what you are putting up with right now is at least as bad.
The issue of bullying in school is frightening for teachers as well as students. Parents of offenders refuse to believe that their child could ever cause someone else any pain, and if someone tells them otherwise they retaliate with as much vitriol as the biggest playground bully might. Threats of lawsuits, coupled with weak administrators and systems for dealing with harassment, only perpetuate the negative behaviors. As a former victim of bullying, and as a teacher, I have been working to end name-calling and ostracizing in addition to the more physical forms of harassment. You know as well as anyone how pervasive the problem is. I'm sure you also realize that a law as vague as the one currently before the Michigan senate will not solve anything.
The lawmakers and other "concerned citizens" such as Gary Glenn ought to be ashamed that they are working against protecting all of our kids in the state by turning a common-sense step into a political issue. This bill no more gives gay and lesbian students—the conservatives' obsession of the year—special rights than it gives students with different skin tone special rights. When they advocate removing the reference protecting against harassment based on religion, then perhaps we will have a place to start discussions.
But among all the strong emotions, I urge you, Mr. Epling, to show them compassion. An armchair psychologist may conclude that these legislators and others had been bullied themselves as kids and now enjoy wielding the power over others they believe are weak. Those armchair psychologists may be right. However, compassion is never weak. Compassion is the very trait bullies and these conservatives lack, and compassion must be our weapon. Encourage our legislators to do the right thing. Continue letting Matt's story speak for those kids who don't have voices. Keep being everything others are scared to be. I'm sure Matt would be proud of you.
By your side protecting all kids,
Joel
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3 comments:
Hi Joel,
Reality check: we've urged the Legislature to remove ALL segregated "protected class" categories from the anti-bullying bill, including religion. We've urged that the bill instead simply prohibit ALL bullying against ANY student for ANY reason. The Democratic majority in the House rejected that amendment, revealing that some agenda other than protecting all students from bullying is the driving motivation behind this bill. If the bill simply prohibited bullying against any student for any reason, treating each student as an INDIVIDUAL rather than as a member of a special "protected class," the bill would probably pass nearly unanimously. Apparently, the current bill's supporters would rather risk having no bill at all pass the GOP-controlled Senate -- again, making clear that actually passing a bill to protect student safety is not their sincere motive.
Gary Glenn, "concerned citizen" and president, American Family Association of Michigan
Mr. Glenn,
Thanks for responding. I didn't expect anyone would have even found this blog so quickly, nor someone as important as you responding personally. I must say that I do believe that you have the best interest of children at heart and that you sincerely want to put an end to school bullying, so I checked the AFA-Michigan website to see if you were being misrepresented in the media.
What I found confirmed what the media had portrayed. Every single article on you website was not pro-family but anti-gay. Every single one. I could not find a single article that celebrated marriage, togetherness, love, or any other concept I usually associate with marriage. In fact, some of the articles were downright demeaning.
This leads me to a conclusion I don't want to believe. It appears (and I may be misinterpreting things) that your Association opposes the bill strictly on the basis of the inclusion of sexual orientation and gender expression. The language you use about "ALL bullying", "ANY student", and "ANY reason" then appear to be rhetorical tricks to hide some anti-gay bias. I understood the bill simply to reflect the language of the Michigan Department of Education's definition of bullying and harassment, which does include sexual orientation.
So let me ask you: would you risk not having a bill at all just so you can allow gay kids to be harassed and bullied?
Update (this is my blog I can do this): The language of House Bill 4162 doesn't contain the words "sexual orientation" or "gender expression". Read for yourself here. It actually references the Michigan State Board of Education's own document on bullying and harassment, here, like I thought. Read for yourself and see if students would be better off with a vague and ignorable bill or a bill with specific protections.
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